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This is why cats hate being picked up: their instincts immediately signal danger

Hangai Lilla

2023. August 5 - Photos: Getty Images Hungary

When it comes to showing our love for our cat, or indeed any other living being, it is natural for us to express this through physical touch. But it is very important to keep in mind that different love languages can differ not only from person to person, but also from species to species. It's safe to say that most cats hate being picked up and petted in that position.

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There may be many other interesting reasons behind it, starting with socialization and the cat’s personality. If you really love it, let it go! We’ll show you how and of course we will talk about in details why cats hate being picked up.

This is the perfect way to pick up a cat.

This is unnatural and threatening for cats

When it comes to adult cats, they feel more secure on their four paws than being picked up. This also has to do with their sense of balance. Picking them up like babies activates a sense of threat in their brain. In the wild, they have to resort to many tricks to protect themselves, and these instincts have not faded over many thousands of years.

For them, a more natural expression of affection is when they rub and squeeze their cheeks against you, curl their tails around your leg as they rub against it, or caress you wherever they can with their tongues. And the most important thing is that they can do all this when they feel like it. Independence and self-reliance are the cornerstones of their personality.

Not socialised properly

It’s also possible that the main reason your pet hates being held is due to a lack of socialization. In cats, as in dogs, intentional socialization at a young age is essential to be balanced later on and to be able to trust the people around it. An unsocialized cat can be shy, distrustful, fearful or aggressive. If you adopt, you have to keep this in mind, and you shouldn’t spare the time and energy to develop a good relationship with your new pet.

Even so, it may happen that your will never be a fan of being picked up, but at least you can be sure that it does not feel threatened around you.

It may also be ill or in pain

If you notice from one moment to the next that your pet no longer likes you to hug, caress, or put your arms around it, it could be caused by a physical or mental illness. Dementia or arthritis can also cause personality changes in cats, so it’s a good idea to visit the vet if you suspect your furry friend may be suffering from health problems.

Aging can also cause changes in what a cat likes and tolerates, or what it says no to. Just like us, they also change with the progress of time, so it is natural that their tastes also undergo a transformation. It may even happen that your extremely independent companion will appreciate cuddling more when it reaches a certain age.

How to teach it to like being in your arms

If they are used to being picked up from kittenhood, they learn to tolerate it, and in some cases even appreciate it. You can try the following method on adult cats as well, but don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t work! It is definitely not worth forcing, because in the end you will traumatize your pet for a lifetime.

Don’t handle them like a baby. They feel more safe in a position like this.

The first step is to get it used to your touch. If you see that your pet is relaxed and calm, call it by its name and pet it. If it reacts positively to this, you can try to hold it in your lap in a sitting position. If it objects, stick with the stroking for now. Repeat this several times a day.

To make the experience even more positive, offer it some snacks. But in any case, if you feel that it wants to go, let it go! Thus, sitting on the lap is associated only with positive experiences. If this is going well, you can try to pick it up and stroke it like that. Praise and treats are also very useful at this stage. How you hold it is extremely important. Not at all like babies! With a few exceptions, cats are particularly averse to this. Keep it standing straight with its paws resting on your forearm.

It may take several months for your kitty to give in, so we ask for patience! And don’t forget, they are really happy when they can freely decide what and when to do, so if you don’t have your cat sitting on your arm, there’s nothing wrong with it.

cat hates being picked up cat instinct cat love language Life petting a cat raising a cat socialisation
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